we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
