i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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