Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
