One girl and one boy is just not enough.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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