I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
