We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
