so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
