I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I smell like Dick and happiness
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
