so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Mom said you looked used
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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