Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
