Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
