I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
