I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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