I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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