We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
