Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This is my gift to your gina
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
