dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
