Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
