I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
