Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
