Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
