at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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