Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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