I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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