So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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