does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
