Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
