i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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