Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
