I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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