Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
