but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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