Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I cannot find my penis.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
