it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize