This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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