Hey man sorry I got all grabby
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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