they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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