Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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