Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
