What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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