Slut skills are useful in every country.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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