I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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