Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
