you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
