i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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