what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
