so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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