You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
