Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
