She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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