The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
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