Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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