i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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