He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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