STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
