so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
