You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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