she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
be right there i have to get my cape
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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