And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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