Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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