It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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